political jokes

Tony Blair and George W Bush had been sent to hell. The Devil had prepared two cells for them. Tony Blair walked into this dingy cold room that had rats running all over it. The Devil said, "Tony Blair, this is your eternal punishment!" George W Bush was not looking forward to his cell, so imagine his surprise when he entered a beautiful pink room with Pamela Anderson inside. The Devil announced, "Pamela Anderson, this is your eternal punishment!"

A candidate for city council was doing some door-to-door campaigning, and things were going pretty well, he thought, till he came to the house of a grouchy-looking fellow. After the candidate’s little speech, the fellow said, “Vote for you? Why I’d rather vote for the Devil!”
“I understand,” said the candidate, “but in case your friend is not running, may I count on your support?”

America's First Law of Motion:
An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object tends to stay at rest, unless an external force acts upon the object.
Meaning
America tends to go its way unless acted upon by Osama.

America's Second Law of Motion:
The acceleration of a body is proportional to the force applied on it.
Meaning
The number of sleeping pills an American takes is directly proportional to the number of video tapes Osama releases.

America's Third Law of Motion:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Meaning
For every death of an American, there is a death of an afghan.

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money!" he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this – I am a United States congressman!"

"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money!"