Best Jokes

A man was checking into a hotel when he saw a golden retriever sitting on a rug near the hotel elevator. Talking to the man behind the desk, he asked, "Does your dog bite?" The attendant said, "No, he doesn't." But as the man let his hand down to pat the dog, it bit his hand and held on so tightly that the man had to throw him across the room.

Returning to the desk, the man said, "I thought you said that your dog didn't bite." He directed the attendant's attention to the dog, who now had returned to the rug. The attendant simply answered, "My friend that is NOT my dog."

What did the tired chess player do?
He took the knight off

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"
The trainer replied; “Use the ATM outside the gym!!!"

During my earlier career days, offices recorded attendance in book registers and we had pay cuts for being late more than 4 times a month and the update was under control of the receptionist. On one occasion, our boss appreciated & commended a colleague of mine for drastic improvement for on time attendance, surprisingly just after he moved to a far away home location. My colleague’s instant reaction to my boss was “Sir the receptionist is coming late to the office"