Best Jokes

Discussing the environment with his friend, John asked, “Which of our natural resources do you think will become exhausted first?” “The taxpayer,” replied his friend.

“Please keep your dog beside you, sir,” a woman said crossly to the man sitting opposite to her on the bench at the park. “I can feel a flea in my shoe.” “Midnight, come here,” replied the man. “This woman has fleas.”

While drinking at the river, a young bear admires its reflection and growls, “I am the king of beasts!” Along comes a lion and roars, “What was that I just heard?” “Oh, dear,” says the bear, “you say strange things when you’ve had too much to drink.”

The trumpet player had been blasting away all day, when there was a knock on his door. “I live next door to you,” he explained. “Do you know I work nights?” “No,” said the trumpet player, “but if you hum a few bars, I’ll get the melody.”