1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't on.
3. Aren't you the guy from the village people?
4. Hey, you must have been going 125 mph just to keep up with me?
5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop?
6. Bad cop, No donut for you!
7. You're gonna check the trunk, aren't you?
8. I pay your salary.
9. That's terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.
10. Is that a 9 mm? It's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
11. What do you mean, have I been drinking? And you're a trained specialist?
12. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
13. That gut doesn't inspire too much confidence, bet I can outrun you.
14. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
15. I was trying to keep up with traffic.
16. Yes, I know there are no other cars around - that's how far ahead of me they are.
17. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got stuck between the brake and gas pedal,forcing me to speed out of control.
MORE WAYS TO LAUGH