Latest Jokes

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted, behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

A guy was standing at the bottom of the stairs listening to the bells. He decided to go up and meet the ringer. So he raced up the many stairs until finally he was standing not three meters away from quazimodo.
In a soft voice he said "can I ring the bells" as the hunchback pushed his head against the bell
"No training is needed or you will be in danger"
The guy replied to this "C'mon please I'll be careful"
"Be very careful"
Minutes went by and he pushed the bell with the might of his hands
"Can I ring the bell with my head? “The guy asked
"NO, TRAINING"
"I can do it"
"Ok don't say you haven't been warned"
Alas on his first heave he lost balance and when the bell swung back it hit him out the window he fell down the tower to his death. Quazimodo raced down the stairs with all possible speed, when he was at the bottom a small crowd had gathered with a policeman examining the body
He yelled to the crowd
"Does anybody know this man?”
Quazimodo then answered
"No, but his face rings a bell"

A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband crashing through the front door at 3 am waked her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, " what are you doing" she shouted, the husband replies " I’m trying to get a gallon of beer up the stairs" "leave it down there" she bellowed "I cant" he replied " I’ve drunk it".