Latest Jokes

Going to the travel agent’s office, the moron said, “I’d like a round-trip ticket, please.”
“Where to?” the agent asked.
“Why, back here, naturally.”

Hearing a scream from the playroom, the mother rushed in and found her infant daughter pulling the hair of her four-year-old bother. After separating them, the mother said to her son, “Don’t be upset with your sister, honey. She didn’t know she was hurting you.”
No sooner had the mother returned to he chores than she heard more screaming. This time she rushed in and found the baby crying. “Now what happened?” she asked.
“Nothing,” said the boy, “except that now she knows.”

Returning to West Point late one night, Colonel Schultz and his wife were challenged by the sentry at the gate.
“Halt and identify yourself!”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” declared the startled woman.
The sentry stepped aside. “Advance, Holy Family, to be recognized.”

After telling the customs agent he had nothing in his bags but clothing, Mark was alarmed when the official decided to open them up and check. In the very first one she opened, cushioned between his socks was a bottle of cognac.
“Nothing to declare but clothing, huh?”
“Right,” Mark extemporized. “That, madam, is my nightcap.”