Latest Jokes

A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband crashing through the front door at 3 am waked her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, " what are you doing" she shouted, the husband replies " I’m trying to get a gallon of beer up the stairs" "leave it down there" she bellowed "I cant" he replied " I’ve drunk it".

Teacher: Today is the first day of the school, any questions?
John: Yes, when will the Holidays start?

Lady:(standing in the middle of a busy street) Officer, can you tell me how to get to the Hospital?
Officer: Just stand where you are!!!

Examining his new will, the old man said to his attorney, “I guess this makes my son and I sort of like football players.”
“How’s that?” the lawyer asked.
“Well, until I kick off, he doesn’t receive.”