Latest Jokes

It was Loomis’s day to walk about the grounds of the asylum. Pausing by the fence, he looked into the fields of the farmer next door.
“Hey,” he yelled, “what the heck are you doing?”
“Spreading fertilizer on the strawberries,” replied the farmer.
Shaking his head, Loomis says, “Fella, you ought to have dessert here some time.
“We eat them with cream and sugar.”

A young woman greeted the census taker. “Good morning,” said the caller,
“I’m taking the census and I’d like to ask you a few questions.
Occupation?”
“Homemaker,” replied the woman.
“Husband’s occupation?”
“Manufacturer.”
“Children?”
“No,” said the woman. “Dresses.”

“Doc!” the man yells. I’ve lost my memory!”
“Calm down, sir. When did this happen.”
The man looked at him. “When did what happen?”

Approaching the woman at a single’s bar, the young man said, “Hi cookie. How about a date?”
“Forget it,” she said. “I never go out with a perfect stranger.”
“We are both in luck,” he said. I’m far from perfect.”