Latest Jokes

Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.

Q: What runs around a football field and never gets tired?
A: A fence.

A man was walking along a beach when he spied a small creature.
He had no idea what it was and decided to take it home and show his family.
On getting it home, he found it had grown a little already. The family looked at it and was fascinated by it. The kids wanted to take it to school for ‘show & tell " so he put it in a matchbox overnight.
In the morning he found it had grown some more so he transferred this thing to a shoebox for the kids to take to school. When the kids had got home from school, this thing had now grown so large it wouldn’t fit in the shoebox, but filled their school bag as the growth rate was a bit daunting. Overnight, while wondering what to do with this ever-growing thing, the man didn’t get much sleep and in the morning found it so large that it couldn’t even fit in the car. He decided it was time to dispose of it & loaded the thing into his small tip truck & drove to a nearby cliff top. As he was backing up to the cliff he thought he heard a noise above the roar of the truck and stopped to listen. He could hear a voice calling "help, help" and realized it was coming from the back of the truck. "Is that you?" said the man."Yes" replied the thing…"what are you?" asked the man. "I’m a rarey", said the voice I’m a very rare animal, & I grow at a very fast rate, what are you going to do with me?. The man said "Well, I didn’t know what to do as you were growing so fast we can’t contain you, so I’m going to tip you over this cliff & get rid of you". The rarey seemed horrified as he peered over the cliff, & said in a plaintive voice "It’s a LONG WAY TO TIP-A-RAREY"

There was this Antartian that wanted to take up a new winter hobby. She went to the library and started studying all about ice fishing. Finally, she went out on the ice, set up all her stuff, and sat down. All of a sudden, a bellowing voice from above said, 'There are no fish under the ice."

Startled, she got up and moved to a different spot. Right as she began to sit down, the voice from above spoke again, "There are no fish under the ice."

Frustrated, she got up and walked a long ways away onto a new patch of ice. She sat down and set up all of her gear. Once again, the voice spoke. "There are no fish under the ice."

Now the Antartian was very mad. "God, is that you? she asked.

"No! It's the manager of the ice skating rink." the voice replied.