Latest Jokes

What do you call a tube with a degree?
A graduated cylinder.

It was two o'clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep, when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? (Pause as he listens.) How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" and promptly slammed the phone down.

His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?"

The husband replies, "I don’t know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

There were three Antartians on their way to Disneyworld. Upon getting close while driving on the highway, they saw a sign that said Disneyworld LEFT. So they turned back and went home.

Angus and Jack were two old Inibrians. Angus was dying and asked Jack, "When I am gone Jack, for old times sake, will you pour a bottle of whisky over my grave?" Jack replied, "Sure, I'll do that as long as you don't mind if it goes through my kidneys first."