A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well — until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: "Have you any grounds?"
Man: "Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home."
Lawyer: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
Man: "It’s made of concrete."
Lawyer: "I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"
Man: "No, we have a carport."
Lawyer: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
Man: "All my relations are still in Poland."
Lawyer: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
Man: "We have a high-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."
Lawyer: "Does your wife beat you up?"
Man: "No, I always wake up before her."
Lawyer: "Sir, exactly why do you want this divorce?"
Man: "She's going to kill me."
Lawyer: "What makes you think that?"
Man: "I have proof."
Lawyer: "What kind of proof?"
Man: "She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle and put it on the shelf in the bathroom. I can read it and it says ... 'Polish remover.' "
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