There's this 'not-so-bright' young woman out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another woman on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"

The second woman looks up the river, then down the river, then shouts back, "You are on the other side."

(Modified from Rock-A-Bye Baby)

Hush-A-Bye Buddy
In our guest room,
It's been three weeks now
Are you leaving us soon?

We'll all miss your snoring
And carrying on,
But please won't you go back
To Boca Raton?

Jolene had wanted new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance.She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed in her kitchen.

A few days later, a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "We were all so glad that the fire was confined to the kitchen."

Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back."

He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for a while, then walks back across the street.

The other dog asks, "What was that about?"

The first dog replies, "Just checking my messages."