A young man named John applied for a salesman's job at a big department store. It was one of the biggest stores in the world - you could get anything there. The boss said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
At the end of the next business day the boss came around and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars," said John.
"How did you manage that?" asked the boss.
"Well, this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his car probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe version we have."
The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?"
"No," answered John, "he came in to buy a present for his mother-in-law, who'll come to visit on Friday, so I said to him, 'Well, since your weekend's messed up, you might as well go fishing.'"
A young woman wasn't feeling well and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.
"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."
The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!"
Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."
A guy was fixing up the floor and laying down carpet in some woman's home. As he was finishing, he noticed a bump in the carpet and figured that he had laid carpet over a package of nails he used earlier.
Rather than to take up the carpet, he decided to get a hammer and pound the package into the ground so no one would know.
When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a nice job he had done. "The carpet looks wonderful!" she exclaimed. "Here are your nails, I found them in the kitchen. By the way, have you seen my phone?"
Realizing at the last minute that it was his father's birthday, a teenage boy rushed to the corner store to grab a card.
He quickly found a son-to-father card but neglected to read it carefully. Later when his father opened his gifts, he was surprised to read aloud, "Happy birthday to a wonderful Dad. Now that I'm a father too . . ."