Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor.

The nurse comes in and tells the first man, "Congratulations, You're the father of twins."

"What a coincidence!" the man exclaims. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"

The nurse returns a short while later and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets."

"Wow, what a coincidence!" he replies. "I work for the 3M Corporation."

When the nurse comes again, she tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.

"Another coincidence!" he tells her. "I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"

At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask him what was wrong.

He moans, "I work for Seven-Eleven!"

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.

The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a group of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.

I told them to buzz off!!!!!

Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!

1) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

2) I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3) This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

4) I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

5) Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

6) Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.