Favorite this joke Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a car from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the car the following day. The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The car broke down."
"OK, well, just return my money to me," Kenny said.
"Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it."
"OK then, just unload the car," said Kenny.
"Whatcha gonna do with it?" asked the farmer.
"I'm going to raffle it off," Kenny replied.
"You can't raffle off a broken-down car!" the farmer exclaimed.
"Of course I can," replied Kenny. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody it doesn't work."
A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "So, what happened with the car?"
"I raffled it off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00," explained Kenny.
"Didn't anyone complain?" inquired the farmer.
Kenny proudly replied, "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back."
A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "WOW! I wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
So grateful somebody invented window blinds...
Or it would be curtains for all of us!
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.
"What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. My wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, as you can see my suit is still damp, ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Gregson's helicopter, landed on top of his skyscraper, and ran over here."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
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