Favorite this joke Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?”
“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for our guests.”
“I don’t mean that,” the deacon replied. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”
“Oh sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70.
They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh and relaxed.
"I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to patients from morning till night on a day like this and still look so spry and unbothered when it's over?"
The older analyst said simply, "Who listens?"
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
I can't remember how to write 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.
I am LIVID!
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