My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it.
My wife frantically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter.
That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt.
On one side it said, "Families are Forever."
And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start."
The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.
"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year...and you want to know how I made $80,000?"
"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."
"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "Didn't I mention? We deliver anywhere..."
It doesn't surprise me that there's a...
- Rudeville, New Jersey
- Boring, Oregon
- Hell, Michigan
- Hooker, California
- Virgin, Utah
- Dulls Corner, Maryland
- Bowlegs, Oklahoma
- Volcano, Hawaii
- Beersville, Pennsylvania
- Fleatown, Ohio
- Burnt Corn, Alabama
- Two Guns, Arizona
- Toad Suck, Arkansas
Doug was describing a 30 pound bass he'd caught recently after fighting it for three hours.
Bill interrupted the story saying, "I saw the picture you took of that fish. You're lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds."
Doug replied, "Well . . . a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting."