Marty Profile

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Marty

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 366
# of followers : 15
# of following: 12
eligible jokes to win : 6
Location: United States
won: $ 267.00
$5.00 won 1 votes

Why did the itsy-bitsy spider run up the water spout?

He heard a tech company executive was there hiring web designers.

1 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

Teacher: "Little Johnny can you tell the class what the word Pejorative means?"

Little Johnny: "Pejorative, an adjective, having a disparaging, derogatory, or belittling effect or force."

Teacher: "I'm impressed, you must have been studying."

Little Johnny: " Not really, I was channel surfing and happened to be on C-Span when the remotes battery died."

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

My lawnmower seized up so I took it to the dump and was told it would cost fifty bucks to recycle it. I didn't have the fifty so I brought it back home.

Later that night I got a bright idea so I put the lawnmower in the front yard by the road thinking someone might steal it.

Low and behold the next morning the mower was gone, my plan had worked. Couldn't help but brag to my wife about my brilliant idea.

My gloating only lasted one day. The next morning the mower had been returned minus the carburetor and the wheels.

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

My wife hasn't had a headache since her strict adherence to modern health standards...

I'm onboard with being part of the solution, but I sure wish they'd loosen up on that social distancing thing.

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Marty" |