Sally: Hmmm... there was something else I had to buy, and I can’t think of it.

Mary: Was it tuna fish... or cereal… or sugar… or coffee?

Sally: No, none of those things. Especially not coffee! I don't drink that awful stuff, it makes me nervous!

Mary: They have decaffeinated coffee, you know?

Sally: It's not the caffeine that makes me nervous... it’s the price!

Jill: What took you so long?

Jack: I was parking the car!

Jill: How long does it take to park a car?!

Jack: I kept driving around looking for an empty space, but I couldn't find one. As for the parking lots, their prices are outlandish! Finally, I found one place to park where the price was reasonable.

Jill: Where was that?

Jack: In a drive-in theater.

Sharon: I tell you, Doctor, even though I’m dieting, I’m still gaining weight!

Doctor: You might be pregnant.

Sharon: What?! That can’t be, I use birth control pills!

Doctor: That’s not a hundred percent certain.

Sharon: Then what is?

Doctor: Abstinence.

Sharon: Would you give me a prescription for it?