Leibel Profile

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Leibel

User Details

Member Since : Feb, 2016
# of jokes posted : 84
# of followers : 7
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 574.00
$12.00 won 1 votes

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"

"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.

"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."

"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.

"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."

"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters.' They are married to God."

"Wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Leibel" |
$15.00 won 3 votes

A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small, deserted island one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.

Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands pulled out the message.

"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."

3 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Leibel" |
$25.00 won 4 votes

A woman had bought lots of shoes over time and she decided it was time to kick the habit. She really took it seriously, even changing her driving route to avoid her favorite shoe store. One evening, however, she arrived home carrying a shoe box. Her husband grinned at her, but it didn't faze her at all.

"These are very special shoes," she explained. "I accidentally drove by the shoe store and there in the window were the most perfect shoes I've ever seen! I felt this was no accident, so I thought I'd let fate decide. If I would get a parking spot directly in front of the shop, the shoes were meant for me. And sure enough, the eighth time around the block, there it was!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Leibel" |
0 votes

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing giraffes even if there are none."

The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a psychiatrist?"

The man replies, "No, just giraffes."

0 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Leibel" |