Leibel Profile

Image
 

Leibel

User Details

Member Since : Feb, 2016
# of jokes posted : 85
# of followers : 7
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 574.00
0 votes

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing giraffes even if there are none."

The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a psychiatrist?"

The man replies, "No, just giraffes."

0 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Leibel" |
0 votes

A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of an extended visit of old Aunt Emma.
For seven long weeks she lived with them, always nagging, always demanding. Finally she decided to leave.

On the way back from driving her to the airport, the husband confessed to his wife, "Honey, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all this time."

His wife looked at him aghast. "MY Aunt Emma!" she cried. "I thought she was YOUR Aunt Emma!"

0 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Leibel" |
$12.00 won 3 votes

A cop pulls over a lady for speeding and gives her a ticket saying, "That's $150 and two points."

"Two points? What do I do with the points?" she asks.

"Well," says the cop, "when you get twelve, you get a bike!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Leibel" |
$15.00 won 5 votes

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?"

So, they all went to the back fence to check it out. The first contractor took out his tape measure, did some measuring and said, "Well, I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

Next was the second contractor. He also took out his tape measure, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

Without so much as moving, the third contractor said, "$2,700."

The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

"Easy," he said. "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and we hire the guy doing it for $700."

5 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Leibel" |