Arriving late for a political conference, the college student asks another student standing by the door, "How long has the candidate been talking now?"

"Half an hour."

"And what is he talking about?"

"That I wouldn't know, he hasn't said."

The cleaning lady comes to the bank manager...

"Can you please give me the key of the safe vault?"

"What?! What for?"

"It's always so time consuming to have to use my hairpin in order to clean it!"

The teacher asks the class: Where do apples grow?

Smart Samantha answers: On apple trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do pears grow?

Clever Curtis answers: On pear trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do dates grow?

The class is silent. Little Johnny raises his hand and says: On calendars?

A little girl asks her father: "Daddy, what is corruption?"

"Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you."

"But mommy said you should stop drinking!"

"Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer."

"Oh, okay!"