mickey Profile

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mickey

User Details

Member Since : Mar, 2016
# of jokes posted : 57
# of followers : 32
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 1390.00
$15.00 won 17 votes

In a Psychiatric Hospital, a Journalist asks the Doctor: "How do you determine whether to admit a person as a patient or not?

Dr: Well ... we'd fill a bathtub with water and then give a teaspoon, a glass and a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bathtub.

Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.

Dr: No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed #39. We will soon start further investigations on you.

17 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "mickey" |
$6.00 won 12 votes

A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the manager said.

"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was. One of the poor fellows turned to the wealthy fellow and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place, the grass is almost 1 foot high!"

Lesson: Never trust managers... They will go to any extreme to finish their job.

12 votes

CATEGORY Office Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "mickey" |
$7.00 won 17 votes

An engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop. He went to him and said, "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired them and put them back, so why do I get such a small salary and you get huge sums?"
 
The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said, "Try the same when the engine is running."

The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said, "I can take any dead engine and make it alive again, can you?"

17 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "mickey" |
$10.00 won 14 votes

Who is smarter, you or your dog? A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ.

Here’s how it works... If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is the smarter one.

14 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "mickey" |