Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper. He replies, "Newspaper? Are yo really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper? Here, take my iPad instead."
The wife takes the iPad and uses it to kill a cockroach. Her husband faints.
Patient 1: "Why did you run away from the operation table?"
Patient 2: "The nurse was repeatedly saying 'don't get nervous', 'don't be afraid', 'be strong', 'this is a small operation only', things like that."
Patient 1: "So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?"
Patient 2: "She was talking to the surgeon!"