Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID BRAINLESS DEAF FOOL!!! MAYBE IF YOU LISTENED, YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP SOME!
A man was walking down the street one day when he was brutally beaten and robbed. As he lay unconscious and bleeding, a psychologist, who happened to be passing by, rushed up to him and exclaimed, "My God! Whoever did this really needs help!"
Brian, one of the worlds greatest hypochondriacs, bumped into his Dr. one day at the supermarket. “Doc!” Brian exclaimed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you, remember those voices I kept on hearing in my head? I haven’t heard them in over a week!”
“Wow! What wonderful news Brian! I’m so happy for you!” his Dr. exclaimed.
“Wonderful?” asked a dismal looking Brian. “There’s nothing wonderful about it. I’m afraid my hearing is starting to go now!"