An insurance broker, living in Florida, loves ocean fishing and decided to take his boat out for a troll. That morning, he was drifting about ten miles offshore and received a business call on his cell phone.
Suddenly, his rod bent double and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool. This salesman was master of the situation.
"Pardon me," he told his customer calmly. "I have a call on another line."
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep
The leftovers beckoned
The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation!
So I raced to the kitchen,
Flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground!!
I crashed through the ceiling, floated into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie,
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees ...
HAPPY EATING TO ALL, PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE!!!
BUFFET: A French word that means, "Get up and get it yourself." (Internet Source)
BUTTERBALL TURKEY: Someone who would rather watch a soccer match on TV than join the family for Thanksgiving dinner. (MsSam)
CALORIE: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food. (Lexicon)
CASSEROLE: Thanksgiving leftovers incognito. (Variation of a daffynition by Lexicon)
CIRCUMSPECTIVE DESSERT: Pumpkin pi. (MsSam)
FLABBERGASTED: Bewildered at your weight gain over the holidays. (Variation of an Internet Source)
FOODSTUFF: All you can eat buffet. (Charles G. Waugh)
FOWL: Four letter bird. (Variation of a statement in Art. Moger, ed., The Complete Pun Book, 1979, p. 99)
FOUL WIND: Breeze produced by a flying turkey. (Internet Source)
KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL THANKSGIVING DAY PARTY: The tur-key. (Joseph Leff)
GOBBLE: A bull that talks turkey. (Internet Source)
A surgeon was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house.
The host deftly carved the turkey and said, "I'd make a pretty good surgeon, don't you think?"
The surgeon replied, "Anybody can take it apart. Let's see you put it back together again."