wadejagz Profile

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wadejagz

User Details

Member Since : Apr, 2016
# of jokes posted : 1671
# of followers : 11
# of following: 3
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 1134.00
$9.00 won 1 votes

Harry the Complainer and his wife happened to pass away on the same day and as they await their interview with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, they're approached by an angel.

"Hello," says the angel. "I'm your host, and welcome to Heaven. In a few moments you'll be entering through our famous Pearly Gates for the most fantastic adventure you've ever experienced. You'll have a chauffeur driven limousine service anywhere in the universe, plus deluxe accommodations at our luxury hotel with all the amenities -- pool, Jacuzzi, indoor tennis courts, and more. Then after your day of relaxation, dine at any of our 5-star restaurants savoring the finest of any cuisine known to man."

At this point, Harry gives his wife a shove in the ribs with his elbow. "If it wasn't for you and that stupid oat bran, we'd have been here ten years ago!"

1 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
0 votes

During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him and asked, "Does your dog have a license?"

"No," the man said, "he doesn't need one."

"Yes he does," answered the officer.

"But," said the driver, "I always do all the driving."

0 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$7.00 won 1 votes
 

I got a big envelope in the mail that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend."

Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do."

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
$5.00 won 1 votes

If I lock my keys in my car, all I have to do is call OnStar and they unlock my car.

If the car is stolen, they can lock all the doors and trap the thief in the car.

Whenever my wife tells me she is taking the car to go shopping, I call OnStar and tell them my car has been stolen.

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "wadejagz" |