There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation were dozing off.
After the service, she walked up to a very sleepy-looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."
And the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one, ma'am, I'm glad it's done too!"
A family from the country hills was visiting the big city for the first time. They stayed in a high-rise hotel with a big brass elevator right off of the lobby. The mother and daughter stared at it in amazement, wondering what it was.
After staring at it in awe for a few minutes the girl looked up at her mom, "Ma, what do you reckon that there thing is?" she asked.
"I don't rightly know, girl," the mother replied.
Just then an old, frumpy man in a robe with messy hair walks up, steps in the elevator and the doors shut behind him. After about 30 seconds the doors opened again and a handsome, muscular young man in tight work-out clothes comes out.
The mother leans over to her daughter and says, "Girl, go and get your Pa!"
Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist who recommended a specialist who could help him. His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked, "What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore."
"I hired a professional worrier and I haven't had a worry since," replied Jack.
"That must be expensive," Bob replied.
"He charges $5,000 a month," Jack told him.
"$5,000!!! How in the world can you afford to pay him?" exclaimed Bob.
"I don't know. That's his problem."
I went on a job interview the other day. I wasn't really qualified but I decided to apply anyway. A week later, I became very excited when I was called in for an interview.
At the interview, the prospective employer asked a few questions then read through my resume. After a few anxious moments, as I sat in silence waiting for him to finish reading, he put down my resume. He looked up at me and said, "We have an opening for someone like you."
"Really?" I replied excitedly. "What is it?"
"It's called the door."