Two men crash into each other at an intersection. The first man steps out of his wrecked car screaming, "You rotten driver, you wrecked my Mercedes! I'm a lawyer, and I'm going to sue you for everything you have!"
The other man responds, "You lawyers only care about money, you don't even realize you just lost an arm!"
The lawyer looks down where his arm should be and yells, "Where's my Rolex!"
A little boy said he wanted a baby brother. His Dad smiled and suggested he pray for one.
The boy prayed earnestly, night after night, but after a couple weeks with no baby brother, he didn't bother to ask anymore.
A few months later Dad said Mom was in the hospital and had a surprise. When they got to the room, the little boy saw Mom holding two babies!
"Well, what do you think about having twin brothers?" Dad asked.
The little boy, in awe, said: "I'm glad I stopped praying when I did!"