wadejagz Profile

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wadejagz

User Details

Member Since : Apr, 2016
# of jokes posted : 521
# of followers : 7
# of following: 3
eligible jokes to win : 4
Location: United States
won: $ 171.00
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I’m a peripheral visionary...

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posted by "wadejagz" |
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I spent the night in a really old hotel last night.

They sent me a wake-up letter.

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posted by "wadejagz" |
$7.00 won 2 votes

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!"

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."

"That'll teach them!" I replied.

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
1 votes

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was.

I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |