A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away. He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity.
He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning.
He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the crematorium.
Myra was going to the office party but needed a new party dress.
In the clothing store she asked, "May I try on that dress in the window, please?"
"Certainly not, madam,'" responded the salesgirl. "You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else."
A three year old and her mother were watching Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs for the first time.
The wicked queen appeared, disguised as an old lady selling apples, and this little child was spellbound. Then Snow White took a bite of the poisoned apple and fell to the ground unconscious.
As the apple rolled away, the girl spoke up, "See, Mom, she doesn't like the skin either."