Floyd had taken his girlfriend on their third date and she had spoken to a nice-looking man at the next table.
"Is that man a friend of yours?" ask Floyd.
"Yes," she replied.
"Then I think I'll ask him to join us."
"Oh Floyd, this is so sudden!"
"What's so sudden?"
"Why he's our minister."
A gold-digger had died and all her worldly possessions, including a parrot, were being auctioned off.
"What am I offered for this beautiful bird?"
"One bean," bid a bystander.
"Two bucks," roared another.
"Make it five, Daddy," croaked the parrot, "and I'll give you a kiss."
Teacher: "What ancient ruler was it who played the fiddle while Rome was burning?"
Johnny: "Hector, ma'am."
Teacher: "No, not Hector. Hector was no ruler, he was a Trojan prince. Try again."
Johnny: "Then it was Duke!"
Teacher: "Duke? What do you mean Johnny?"
Johnny: "Well then, it must have been Nero... I knew it was someone with a dogs name."
He was a bit shy, and after she had thrown her arms around him and kissed him for bringing her a bouquet of flowers, he arose and started to leave.
"I'm sorry I offended you," she said.
"Oh, no, I'm not offended," he replied. "I'm going for more flowers."