Mr. Maxey was visiting his lawyer to discuss how unreasonable his wife was being.
Lawyer: "What were you and your wife fighting about this time?"
Mr. Maxey: "I pointed out that she was trying to drive a nail in the wall with a hair brush. Is this any reason to get mad?"
Lawyer: "Is that all you said?"
Mr. Maxey: "Well, I just suggested that she would have better luck using her head."
Landlord: "I want you to pay your rent."
Struggling artist: "Let's discuss this. In a few years people will look up at this miserable studio and say, 'Truman Jones, the famous artist, use to work here.'"
Landlord: "If you don't pay your rent by tonight, they'll be able to say it tomorrow."
Jeff to son Jeffery: "Why don't you get your girlfriend a sun lamp?"
Jeffrey: "Why a sun lamp?"
Jeff: "Yes, I bought your mother one."
Jeffery: "She bakes herself with it?"
Jeff: "Yes. Yesterday she baked herself for six hours and now she is the toast of the town!"