There was a "hard boiled" foreman at a rather large construction site that was constantly urging his workers to go faster.
The men were getting tired and one day he heard someone shout, "Rome was not built in a day!"
"I know it wasn't," replied the foreman. "But that's because I was not in charge of that project. "
The mother to be wrote to Washington for a pamphlet on the subject of "Prenatal Care". A few days later she received a reply regretfully informing her that the requested pamphlet was out of stock but as soon as it was available it would be sent to her.
Quite a few months passed and the lady received a package from the bureau. The Superintendent of Public Documents apologized for the delay and felt that under the circumstances they could take the liberty of substituting the pamphlet originally asked for with another, "Infant Care".
Gerald and Harold were twins that were inseparable, share and share alike and exact duplicates in everything. As they grew older they had the same hobbies, including fishing. However, when fishing Gerald never seemed to catch fish and Harold always had "fishermen's luck".
One night Gerald stole out of the house with his brother's rod and reel. He went to the exact spot where Harold had caught a dozen trout that afternoon. He fished and fished with not even a nibble.
Just as he was packing to leave a trout leaped out of the water in a perfect arch and cried out solicitously, "Your brother isn't ill I hope?"
One afternoon there was a group of tourists on tour going through an ancient castle in Europe. They were accompanied by a tour guide.
The guide said that the majestic castle was over 700 years old. He added that nothing had been altered or touched in all those years.
One of the tourists blurted out, "Sounds like they have the same cheap landlord I have!"