As he stood at the bar for the first time with his son the proud father said, "Now is as good of time to talk about some of the facts of life. Remember. a man that drinks beyond his capacity is no gentleman. To enjoy life you must observe a happy medium. Have a drink occasionally, but never, never, never get drunk."

"Yes sir," replied his dutiful son, "but how am I to know when I am drunk?"

"Well, you see those two men over there in the corner?" said the father. "If you were to see four men, you'd know you were drunk."

"Dad, let me have the keys," grinned the son. "There's only one guy over there."

A man is on trial for stealing an overcoat. The judge went straight to the point. "Did you steal this man's overcoat?" he demanded.

"No sir," the defendant replied, with a grin. "I was just playing joke on him."

"And where did you take the coat?" asked the judge.

"I removed it from the coat rack in the restaurant and carried it home with me."

"Guilty," snapped the judge.

"Guilty! Guilty of what?" asked the defendant.

"Guilty of carrying a joke too far!"

A couple that just moved into their new home in the suburbs were told they ought to get a watchdog to guard their premises at night. So they bought the largest dog that was for sale in the kennels of a nearby dealer.

Shortly afterwards the house was entered by burglars, who made away with a good haul while the dog slept. The householder went to the kennel dealer and told him about it.

"Well, what you need now," said the dealer, "is a little dog to wake up the big dog."