"Mom says that drinking a buffalo's milk makes us smarter."

"She's lying. If it did make one smarter, then the buffalo's calves would be scientists."

Baker: "These are the best cakes, ma'am. We have been baking them for years!"

Customer: "May I have a cake that was baked today, please?"

Waiter: "Sir, shall I cut the pizza into four or eight pieces?"

Customer: "Please cut it into only four. I won't be able to eat eight pieces."

Jake: "I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortable seated."

Lily: "So what do you do?"

Jake: "I close my eyes."