Drunkard #1: I will become the chief prime minister tomorrow!
Drunkard #2: That's impossible... I haven't resigned yet.
The teacher was describing the dolphin and its habits.
"And, children, "she said impressively, "a single dolphin will have two thousand offspring."
"Goodness!" gasped a little girl in the back row. "And how about married ones?"
Mr. Sharma: ”When I die, love, I want to be cremated.”
Mrs. Sharma: ”That is a good idea, dear. The gold in your teeth ought to pay all the expenses.”
John: Ants really work hard. They work and work and never play.
Peter: Then how come every time I go for a picnic, THERE they are?