What do cows listen to on their headphones?
The teacher was describing the dolphin and its habits.
"And, children, "she said impressively, "a single dolphin will have two thousand offspring."
"Goodness!" gasped a little girl in the back row. "And how about married ones?"
Drunkard #1: I will become the chief prime minister tomorrow!
Drunkard #2: That's impossible... I haven't resigned yet.
Where did the kangaroo go to get its eyesight checked?
To a hop-tician!