Teacher: "School starts 8am, young man. Why are you coming in at 8:30am?
Student: "Sir, by all means, you can start the class without me. No need to wait."
What is an alien's favorite key on the keyboard?
The space bar!
"You must've been hungry? I noticed you've eating at this wedding for an hour now!"
"I'm full, but the wedding card said dinner is from 8-10 pm..."
Why couldn't the sailor learn all the letters in the alphabet?
Because he spent a lot of years at 'C'...