Why do seals swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Patient: "Doctor, I'm just so nervous. This is my first operation."
Doctor: "Don't worry. Mine too."
A sleeping beggar puts a sign in front of him. The sign reads:
Please do not make noise by dropping coins... Use dollar bills instead.
Mother: "Son, finish your breakfast. It's not good to leave things undone or unfinished."
Son: "Then I will go back to sleep."
Son: "Because I want to finish my sleep."