The cowboy ordered a steak at a restaurant and it was served rare, very rare. He looked at it and ask that it be returned to the kitchen and cooked.
The chef came out to inform him that the steak was cooked.
"Cooked? You call this cooked? I've seen cows hurt worse than this and they get well."
Little Johnny's mother was in the hospital, and he was visiting to see his new brother. He wandered into an adjoining room which was occupied by a woman with a broken leg.
"Hello," he said. "How long you been here?"
"Oh, about two weeks."
"May I see your baby," he then ask.
"Why I haven't got a baby," the woman replied.
"Gee, you are slow. My mama's been here just two days and she's got one."
Commuting to New York city a lady seated herself in the train that contained a solitary traveling salesman. After a while the salesman said, politely, "Excuse me, miss, but..."
"If you speak or annoy me, I'll pull the train cord!" snapped the lady.
Whenever he attempted to speak, the lady threatened to give the alarm. At last the train slowed up at a station and the salesman rose to his feet. "I don't care whether you like it or not," he said. "but I want that torn bag of strawberries you've been sitting on for the last 20 miles!"
Deciding to give his wife a pleasant surprise, the husband took home some flowers and a box of candy. "Hazel, you look tired," he said to his wife. "Slip on your best outfit and lets go out to eat."
Hazel bursts into tears. "It was bad enough to have the baby fall down the back steps and burn my hand in the kitchen," she sobbed, "but to have you come home intoxicated is just too much!"