Favorite this joke Bobbie to neighbor: “What are you getting your children for Christmas?”
Neighbor: “Well, if my husband doesn’t stop staying out until three in the morning, I’ll be getting my kids a new dad.”
My girlfriend is impossible to buy for so I asked her best friend what I should get her for her birthday.
Best Friend: “Does she like you?”
Me: “Oh yes, I am positive she likes me!!!”
Best friend: “If she likes you, she’ll like anything.”
Overheard at the race track...
Bettor: “I’m betting on a horse that is 20 to 1 and I can’t lose.
Friend: “What do you mean 'you can’t lose’?”
Bettor: “I can’t lose, the horse is starting at 20 to 1 and the race doesn’t start till 1.”
An American enters a Swiss bank with a giant, heavy sack in each of his hands. He goes to the teller, brings his face close to the glass and whispers, "I have two million dollars with me. I urgently need to open a secret Swiss bank account!"
The Swiss bank teller replies in a normal volume, "Sir, there's no need to whisper. Poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."
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