Ryan Faidley Profile

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Ryan Faidley

User Details

Member Since : Feb, 2020
# of jokes posted : 555
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 2
Location: United States
won: $ 1741.00
$12.00 won 4 votes
 

My neighbor was afraid to grow a fruit tree.

I told him to grow a pear.

4 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
1 votes

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort.

"Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, "Listen to me. I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
$50.00 won 4 votes

I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced, "Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Discontinue all unnecessary work."

An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed when the announcement rang loud and clear, "Resume all unnecessary work."

4 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
$50.00 won 4 votes

There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...

I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.

I used to come here all the time with my ex.

Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |