Two truck drivers came to a low bridge. The clearance sign said 10 feet 8 inches. When they got out and measured their truck, they discovered their vehicle was eleven feet. The first man looked at the other and said, “I can’t see any cops around. Let’s go for it!”

A couple arrived at the boarding gate just in time to see their plane taking off. The husband was angry to have missed the plane. “If you weren’t so slow in getting ready,” he complained to his wife, “we wouldn’t have missed the plane.” “And if you wouldn’t have rushed me, we wouldn’t have so long to wait until the next flight,” she replied.

A kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page illustrating several national flags. She pointed to the American flag and asked, “What flag is this?” Little Sue called out, “That’s the flag of our country.” “Very good,” the teacher said. “And what’s the name of our country?” Little Sue answered, “Tis of thee.”

On the first day of school, Peter handed his new teacher a note from his mother. The teacher unsealed the note, read it, looked at Peter with a frown, and placed the note inside a desk drawer. “So what did she write?” Peter asked. “It’s a disclaimer.”
“A what?” “It says, ‘ The opinions expressed by Peter are not necessarily those of his mother or father,’”