HENNE Profile

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HENNE

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 837
# of followers : 26
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 12
Location: United States
won: $ 671.00
$6.00 won 3 votes
 

"Can I have a cigarette?" Jill asked.

"I thought you quit smoking," Mary said

"I'm in the process of quitting," Jill said. "Right now I am in the middle of phase one."

"What's phase one?" Mary asked.

"I've quit buying," Jill replied.

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$12.00 won 5 votes

I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married...

I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$8.00 won 5 votes

"How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar.

"It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course.

"What did you do?" asked the bartender.

"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting."

5 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."

3 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "HENNE" |