I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair right at the front, I pointed to my forehead.

"Have you seen this?" I indignantly asked my husband.

"What?" he asked. "The wrinkles?"

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before.

"What seems to be the problem, madam?"

"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."

Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.

Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a new computer instead.

During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted, "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"

Dave then got down on bended knee.

"Honey," he said, "will you buy me a new computer?"

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."

He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write, 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times."