HENNE Profile

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HENNE

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 1075
# of followers : 28
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 9
Location: United States
won: $ 869.00
$12.00 won 3 votes

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheeks.

3 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$12.00 won 5 votes

When I told my parents over the phone that my husband has the flu, my dad said, "Have you tried euthanasia?"

In the background I heard my mom yell, "For the last time, it's echinacea!"

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$6.00 won 4 votes

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up" "Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$5.00 won 3 votes

Turn your next trip to the grocery store into a ninja challenge...

You do that by shopping strictly out of other people's carts when they're not looking.

3 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "HENNE" |