Whenever I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we, as a society, have come in equality.

And then I wait for the next bus.

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: Tiruvananthapuram.

Teacher: Spell it.

Student: Sorry, I meant Goa.

Wife: What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus...

Wife: What do you mean?

Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!

Wife: AWESOME! You do that, I'll do a Mary and show up pregnant and untouched by my husband.

The man stayed home.

At a psychiatrist's office:
- Do you consume alcohol?
- No.
- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you use drugs?
- No.
- Do you play cards?
- No.
- Do you run after other women?
- No.
- So why did you come to me?
- You see, doc, I have one little problem... I lie a lot.