Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital!

Nurse: What is it?

Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!

Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper. He replies, "Newspaper? Are yo really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper? Here, take my iPad instead."

The wife takes the iPad and uses it to kill a cockroach. Her husband faints.

Patient: Doctor, whenever I get up after a sleep, I feel dizzy for half an hour, then I'm all right.'

Doctor: Then wait for half an hour before getting up.

An anesthesiologist has a stock answer to the usual question asked by pre-surgical patients:

“How much will the anesthesia cost?”

“Oh, about $100.00. $1.00 to go to sleep and $99.00 for waking up. Most patients buy the whole package.”