mickey Profile

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mickey

User Details

Member Since : Mar, 2016
# of jokes posted : 57
# of followers : 32
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 1390.00
$15.00 won 8 votes

Patient: I have a problem doctor. I feel depressed and unhappy.

Doctor: You should cut down on your drinking.

Patient: I don't drink and have never touched a drop in my life.

Doctor: You should cut down on your smoking.

Patient: I don't smoke either doctor.

Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing.

Patient: Good heavens! I haven't had a girlfriend in my entire life.

Doctor: Your problem is you have no problems! Get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, find a girlfriend or two, and then you will be alright.

8 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "mickey" |
$5.00 won 11 votes

A client called my help desk saying she couldn’t send an e-mail. When I was done troubleshooting the problem, she interrupted me to ask, “Wait a minute, do I type @ in lower or uppercase?”

11 votes

CATEGORY Computer Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "mickey" |
$25.00 won 45 votes

Lady (to her doctor): "What l am worried about is my height and not my weight."

Doctor: "How come?"

Lady: "According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches."

45 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "mickey" |
$50.00 won 15 votes

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could talk."

The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

"Well, did you see this?"

"Yes," motioned the monkey.

"What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. The monkey again nodded up and down.

"What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?"

The monkey again nodded yes in agreement. "Now wait, you're saying they were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked?" asked the officer.

"Yes," nodded the monkey, emphatically.

"What were you doing during all this?"

"Driving," motioned the monkey.

15 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "mickey" |