A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge.
Judge: What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?
Prisoner: My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I'm charged with battery.
Judge (after recovering his equilibrium): Officer, put this guy in a dry cell.
The clergyman of a large church, having just arrived in Fort Smith, was being shaved by a local barber that was addicted to occasional drinking sprees. There was an unmistakable odor of whisky around the barber's face and the razor suddenly nicked the man's face.
"You see, that comes from taking too much drink," said the clergyman.
"You're right," said the barber. "Drinking does make the skin tender, that's a fact."