My three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.”
Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap. After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked, with a touch of awe, “How did you kill that fly all by yourself?”
Between bites, she said, “I hit it with my pickle.”
An insurance agent called our medical office. One of our doctors had filled out a medically necessary leave-of-absence form for a patient, but the agent said the patient had altered it.
The return-to-work date had been changed to February 30.
A soldier in my National Guard platoon became concerned when the Army insisted that he sign up for direct deposit. "It’s not going to work for me," he said, panicked.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because I use my Guard pay for spending money."
"For the past ten years, I’ve been telling my wife that I serve for free!"