My husband, a computer-systems trouble-shooter, rode with me in my new car one afternoon. He had been working on a customer’s computer all morning and was still tense from the session.

When I stopped for a traffic light, I made sure to leave a safe distance from the stop line to keep oncoming drivers from hitting the car.

I couldn’t help but laugh when my husband impatiently waved at me to move the car forward while saying, "Scroll up, honey."

I phoned a local restaurant to ask if it was on the north or south side of the Main Street.

The person on the other end answered, “That depends on which direction you’re coming from.”

Question on second-grade math quiz: "Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain."

My grandson’s answer: "She was more thirsty."

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing... "You can have mine!"