We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey.

Our daughter turned to my wife and said, “Mom, you always did it that way.”

“Yes,” my wife replied, “but you don’t have a cat!”

People’s parents actually give them sage advice, like “Do what you love, and the money will follow” or “The early bird gets the worm.”

All I remember is, “Don’t fill up on bread.”

A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, buddy. I can’t serve you.”

“Why not?” the snake asks.

“Because you can’t hold your liquor.”

Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements.

Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into my office. "Great news, Scott!" she announced. "We’re getting our regular room at the hotel!"

All eyes were on Gail and me as she suddenly realized she had interrupted a meeting with co-workers.